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No account yet? Create an account. Edit this Article. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy.

Learn why people trust wikiHow. Explore this Article parts. Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Article Summary. Part 1 of Attend LGBT events.

From pride parades to bar nights to casual social meetups, these events remove the pressure and uncertainty of trying to find other lesbians in straight spaces.

Look for them on meetup. If you're in the United States, find nearby community centers in the lgbtcenter.

If you're not out to everyone in your life, consider going to events in a nearby town, where people are less likely to run into you.

Spend more time on your favorite social activities. Much as we'd all like to meet someone without having to leave the house, your potential partners won't cooperate with that plan.

Many a lesbian couple first met on a women's sports team or volunteering at an animal shelter , but you don't need to limit yourself to these stereotypes.

Throw yourself into a social activity or hobby you love, and your enthusiasm will attract people who share your interests. Concerts are another great meeting spot.

Look for bands with LGBT musicians or a significant lesbian fan base. Visit a lesbian bar. These aren't too common anymore, so jump on the chance if there's still one in your town.

Failing that, gay bars are worth a try. Most of them are heavily weighted toward men, but you might find some with a regular lesbian night.

Don't send the wrong signal by bringing your straight male friend to a gay or lesbian bar. Date online. Websites and dating apps are extremely popular ways to meet.

Here are some of the more popular options: OkCupid, Match. If you're not out, use OKCupid's ability to hide your profile from straight people. Most mainstream dating apps tend to pair lesbians with men, unbelievable as that is.

Anecdotally, Hinge might be an exception. Make friends in the community. If you volunteered for one pride event and already met the woman of your dreams, congratulations — you're luckier than most.

For everyone else, take the long term view and form lasting friendships in your local lesbian and bisexual community.

The dating pool is not the largest, and you'll probably see many of the same faces at different events. If you can laugh off a bad first date and sympathize with fellow searchers, you'll make more contacts and be ready for more opportunities.

More importantly, you'll become part of a supportive community. Part 2 of Build confidence. It's normal to be shy when you approach someone you find attractive.

Do your best to stay positive and friendly no matter what happens, and you'll gain confidence with practice. An easygoing attitude makes you more attractive, and makes you feel better as well.

A supportive female wingman can help if you need the encouragement. Just don't act too friendly, or the girl across the room might think you're a couple.

The "is she straight? Making your moves in LGBT spaces can reduce your anxiety, especially when you're new to the experience.

Make eye contact and smile. If you don't have a ready-made icebreaker, such as a mutual friend to introduce you, this should be your first step.

If she holds eye contact for a couple seconds, smiles back, or repeatedly glances in your direction, take it as an invitation to approach. Flirting can be as simple as these three steps: Turn your whole body to face her, smile, and hold eye contact while she speaks.

Drop an occasional small compliment her eyes, her accessories, something she told you about that you find cool. If she's responding well, brush your hand against her arm, or lean in to whisper something into her ear.

Ask her out. Don't be afraid to strike while the iron is hot. If she's been talking to you for five or ten minutes and seems happy, there's a good chance she's interested.

And frankly, if it turns out she's straight, you'd rather find out sooner than later. If you get her number, call her again after a day or two and arrange your first date.

Part 3 of Be yourself. The idea of dating someone is to find out if the two of you are right for each other. Pretending to be something you're not hinders this process and will likely lead to problems later on.

If this is your first time dating a woman, or if you're unsure of your sexuality, say so. If you're in the closet with your family, coworkers, or friends, talk about that once it's clear this relationship could go somewhere.

Not everyone is willing to be your experiment, or to be introduced as "just a friend" to your parents. Rough as it is to close the door on a relationship, it will only get more painful if you delay the conversation.

Equally, if you've been out for years and your date is more private about her identity, talk to her about it. Learn each other's comfort zones early on.

Get to know each other. Talk about your interests, and ask about hers. The first few dates are about forming a connection.

Ask her follow-up questions "How often do you go there? If she seems reluctant to talk, switch to a light-hearted topic to make her comfortable.

Avoid getting too personal. Save that for later, when a more lasting commitment is on the table. Never talk about your past relationships on a date.

It can be hard to avoid mentioning a name if you've been dating a while in a close-knit lesbian community, but that doesn't mean your date needs to hear about your sex life or emotional bond with another person.

Talk about your expectations. Honest communication is the most important part of any relationship. This is even more vital if one or both of you are fairly new to same-sex dating or dating in general , and may have unclear expectations for social situations.

Apparently minor etiquette issues such as who pays for the meal can add unnecessary tension. Relax and have a conversation before assuming it's a personal insult.

You are not reenacting a heterosexual relationship, and you don't need to assign "the man" and "the woman" roles. Contrary to some stereotypes, open relationships are not common among lesbians.

If exclusivity or the lack of it is important to you, discuss it before someone gets hurt. Keep it exciting. If you like where this is going, put in the effort to keep it new.

Date nights on exciting activities, heart-to-heart talks, and small, intimate moments are the lifeblood of a relationship. There's no standard amount of time or number of dates before you bring up the word "girlfriend," but if you're both happy and interested, the moment will come.

What can I do if I like my lesbian friend who just broke up with her girlfriend? Give her some time to process her emotions; it's not healthy to jump immediately from one relationship to another.

Be there for her, provide support and comfort, and when she's ready to date again, let her know that you're interested.

Not Helpful 15 Helpful Yes, absolutely. Many people start to get crushes and have romantic or sexual feelings at your age, or even a little younger.

You can absolutely know you're gay when you're 11, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Not Helpful 34 Helpful I like my bisexual friend, and she knows that I'm lesbian.

Should I tell her how I feel and see how she reacts to see if she feels the same? You should tell her. She probably feels the same way, you never know what she's thinking.

Not Helpful 21 Helpful My girlfriend broke up with me. I got asked out the day after by a really cute girl, but I declined.

It's been a month now and I really want to go out with her now that I'm ready. How can I ask her out? Things are always so awkward around us now.

You can explain to her why you declined her and ask if she's still interested. Just say, "Hey, I know I said no to you when you asked me out a while back because I had just broken up with my girlfriend and wasn't really ready to go out with someone new.

But if you're still interested, I'd like to go out with you. Not Helpful 27 Helpful One way would be to expose your granddaughter — as often as possible — to people who have chosen a different way of life and are reaping the rewards for it.

He sees Nicky regularly and is a good father. To be honest, when he left, I was relieved. The other day, I suggested to my ex that maybe once a month we take our son out together to do something, like go to the park or the zoo.

My reasoning is that Nicky needs to know that even though his mom and dad are no longer together, we can still get along.

Is he right? Would it confuse our son, or is he being selfish? It seems unrealistic to me that we will never do anything together. My son is my No.

Please help me. Be patient. In the future, Nicky will understand that, although Mom and Dad are not together, they get along, if you truly do get along.

As Nicky grows older, there will be events such as birthdays, sporting events, graduations, etc. Contact Dear Abby at www.

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Your support helps wikiHow to create more in-depth illustrated articles and videos and to share our trusted brand of instructional content with millions of people all over the world.

Please consider making a contribution to wikiHow today. To get a lesbian girlfriend, try going to LGBT social events or venues in your area, like nightclubs, parades, or hangouts, which are great ways to meet other lesbians.

Alternatively, search for girls through online dating websites, like Match. When you first meet a girl you like, make eye contact with her and smile.

If she smiles back, seize the opportunity to introduce yourself. While you're talking, flirt with her a bit by complimenting her and lightly touching or brushing against her while you talk.

If she flirts back with you, ask for her number or arrange to meet up for a date. For more tips, including how to be confident around a girl you like, read on!

Did this summary help you? Yes No. Please help us continue to provide you with our trusted how-to guides and videos for free by whitelisting wikiHow on your ad blocker.

Log in Facebook. No account yet? Create an account. Edit this Article. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy.

Learn why people trust wikiHow. Explore this Article parts. Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Article Summary. Part 1 of Attend LGBT events.

From pride parades to bar nights to casual social meetups, these events remove the pressure and uncertainty of trying to find other lesbians in straight spaces.

Look for them on meetup. If you're in the United States, find nearby community centers in the lgbtcenter. If you're not out to everyone in your life, consider going to events in a nearby town, where people are less likely to run into you.

Spend more time on your favorite social activities. Much as we'd all like to meet someone without having to leave the house, your potential partners won't cooperate with that plan.

Many a lesbian couple first met on a women's sports team or volunteering at an animal shelter , but you don't need to limit yourself to these stereotypes.

Throw yourself into a social activity or hobby you love, and your enthusiasm will attract people who share your interests.

Concerts are another great meeting spot. Look for bands with LGBT musicians or a significant lesbian fan base. Visit a lesbian bar.

These aren't too common anymore, so jump on the chance if there's still one in your town. Failing that, gay bars are worth a try.

Most of them are heavily weighted toward men, but you might find some with a regular lesbian night. Don't send the wrong signal by bringing your straight male friend to a gay or lesbian bar.

Date online. Websites and dating apps are extremely popular ways to meet. Here are some of the more popular options: OkCupid, Match.

If you're not out, use OKCupid's ability to hide your profile from straight people. Most mainstream dating apps tend to pair lesbians with men, unbelievable as that is.

Anecdotally, Hinge might be an exception. Make friends in the community. If you volunteered for one pride event and already met the woman of your dreams, congratulations — you're luckier than most.

For everyone else, take the long term view and form lasting friendships in your local lesbian and bisexual community.

The dating pool is not the largest, and you'll probably see many of the same faces at different events. If you can laugh off a bad first date and sympathize with fellow searchers, you'll make more contacts and be ready for more opportunities.

More importantly, you'll become part of a supportive community. Part 2 of Build confidence. It's normal to be shy when you approach someone you find attractive.

Do your best to stay positive and friendly no matter what happens, and you'll gain confidence with practice. An easygoing attitude makes you more attractive, and makes you feel better as well.

A supportive female wingman can help if you need the encouragement. Just don't act too friendly, or the girl across the room might think you're a couple.

The "is she straight? Making your moves in LGBT spaces can reduce your anxiety, especially when you're new to the experience.

Make eye contact and smile. If you don't have a ready-made icebreaker, such as a mutual friend to introduce you, this should be your first step.

If she holds eye contact for a couple seconds, smiles back, or repeatedly glances in your direction, take it as an invitation to approach. Flirting can be as simple as these three steps: Turn your whole body to face her, smile, and hold eye contact while she speaks.

Drop an occasional small compliment her eyes, her accessories, something she told you about that you find cool. If she's responding well, brush your hand against her arm, or lean in to whisper something into her ear.

Ask her out. Don't be afraid to strike while the iron is hot. If she's been talking to you for five or ten minutes and seems happy, there's a good chance she's interested.

And frankly, if it turns out she's straight, you'd rather find out sooner than later. If you get her number, call her again after a day or two and arrange your first date.

Part 3 of Be yourself. The idea of dating someone is to find out if the two of you are right for each other. Pretending to be something you're not hinders this process and will likely lead to problems later on.

If this is your first time dating a woman, or if you're unsure of your sexuality, say so. If you're in the closet with your family, coworkers, or friends, talk about that once it's clear this relationship could go somewhere.

Not everyone is willing to be your experiment, or to be introduced as "just a friend" to your parents. Rough as it is to close the door on a relationship, it will only get more painful if you delay the conversation.

Equally, if you've been out for years and your date is more private about her identity, talk to her about it. Learn each other's comfort zones early on.

Get to know each other. Talk about your interests, and ask about hers. The first few dates are about forming a connection. Ask her follow-up questions "How often do you go there?

If she seems reluctant to talk, switch to a light-hearted topic to make her comfortable. Avoid getting too personal. Save that for later, when a more lasting commitment is on the table.

Never talk about your past relationships on a date. It can be hard to avoid mentioning a name if you've been dating a while in a close-knit lesbian community, but that doesn't mean your date needs to hear about your sex life or emotional bond with another person.

Talk about your expectations. Honest communication is the most important part of any relationship. This is even more vital if one or both of you are fairly new to same-sex dating or dating in general , and may have unclear expectations for social situations.

Apparently minor etiquette issues such as who pays for the meal can add unnecessary tension. Relax and have a conversation before assuming it's a personal insult.

You are not reenacting a heterosexual relationship, and you don't need to assign "the man" and "the woman" roles. Contrary to some stereotypes, open relationships are not common among lesbians.

If exclusivity or the lack of it is important to you, discuss it before someone gets hurt. Keep it exciting. If you like where this is going, put in the effort to keep it new.

Date nights on exciting activities, heart-to-heart talks, and small, intimate moments are the lifeblood of a relationship. There's no standard amount of time or number of dates before you bring up the word "girlfriend," but if you're both happy and interested, the moment will come.

What can I do if I like my lesbian friend who just broke up with her girlfriend? Give her some time to process her emotions; it's not healthy to jump immediately from one relationship to another.

Be there for her, provide support and comfort, and when she's ready to date again, let her know that you're interested.

Not Helpful 15 Helpful Yes, absolutely. Many people start to get crushes and have romantic or sexual feelings at your age, or even a little younger.

You can absolutely know you're gay when you're 11, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Not Helpful 34 Helpful I like my bisexual friend, and she knows that I'm lesbian.

You might not have the time to wait for a stall. If you're changing at school, ask if students are allowed to change in the restrooms.

Some teachers have rules that everyone must change at their locker. Wear your gym clothes under your regular clothes. This might get a little warm during the warmer months, so be prepared for that.

Ask your school for privacy curtains. A lot of people are uncomfortable changing in front of others, and if you can get a few people to ask with you, it might convince the administration.

If you have religious reasons for needing privacy, you should bring those up as well. Method 3 of Remember that your body is just one among others.

Ignore people who tease you. If you get teased in the locker room, the best thing you can do is ignore the bully.

Most bullies love the reaction they get from people they bully. If you don't react, they might lose interest.

They can help you deal with the teasing. Improve your body image. One way to be more confident in the locker room is to improve your body image. Think about the amazing things your body can do — maybe you're really strong, or maybe you can run fast.

Also keep in mind that some things about your body you just can't change. If there are things you can change, set yourself some goals for improving them.

For example, you can't change how your knees look, or how wide your hips are. You can change how muscular your legs are or how flat your stomach is.

Make goals for yourself related to the things you can change. Push yourself to feel more comfortable by slowing down your pace.

But try to slow down your changing pace each week. As you feel more comfortable, say hi to people as you change. Some schools have policies that require gym teachers to be in the locker rooms while students are changing.

If that makes you uncomfortable, talk to your principal about it and find out why they're there. Not Helpful 17 Helpful You can change in a bathroom stall if you're on your period and nervous about people seeing your pad.

If you can get to the locker room a little quicker than other people - go right there during break instead of waiting for your friends - you should be able to get a stall.

Not Helpful 13 Helpful Sometimes people laugh at others because they're insecure themselves. If someone laughs at you, brush it off as best you can.

Not Helpful 51 Helpful Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. In most schools, dressing in proper gym clothing is part of your gym grade.

Helpful 6 Not Helpful 0. Remember to take your PE clothes home regularly so you can wash them ; they'll really start to stink up after a while.

Helpful 4 Not Helpful 1. Helpful 6 Not Helpful 2. Helpful 6 Not Helpful 1. If you feel nervous just remember that a lot of other people are there, some who feel the same way, and some you are completely fine with it.

You should be too! If this still does not help, try to go into a corner or somewhere where you are obscured. Helpful 3 Not Helpful 1.

Try not to change in the bathroom stalls, because other students actually have to use the bathroom. Helpful 3 Not Helpful 2. Don't leave your locker unlocked; someone may steal your clothes, which means you'll have nothing to change back into.

Helpful 66 Not Helpful 6. Related wikiHows. More References 4. About This Article. Co-authored by:.

Co-authors: Updated: March 23, Article Summary X To change in a school locker room, look for a shower or bathroom stall to change in if you're not comfortable changing in front of other people.

In other languages Italiano: Cambiarti nello Spogliatoio di una Scuola. Deutsch: Sich in einem Umkleideraum in der Schule umziehen.

Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read , times. Aug 4, I'm just embarrased in front of popular girls. April Parker Apr 9, Christina Myers Aug 23, I feel more confident about changing.

Alex Smith Aug 13, Carissa Dec 8, Amy Jun 7, More reader stories Hide reader stories. Did this article help you?

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